Its difficult this morning to post much of anything positive. While I trust in God to deliver me from this curse and malady still I’m looking for lifelines. The one lifeline I counted on and I don’t think she had much power over the hiccup of her funds to me, still it did happen. If this were to be the first time this has occurred I might not be so frustraited to say the least. But considering she did this a few months ago, because she needed extra funds thought ‘d give the boot if she told me the truth, and so she transgressed and lied about it. Not saying this is what happened this time, but now I’m in a thought pattern is this even healthy for me? Some how I just don’t know. The fact that I trusted her and backed myself into a wall here, by paying most of my bills except rent, leaves me in a deadly spot of needing to recover some sense of stability. One of my dearest people to me Kathleen, said the other day, that we can’t look upon the past. The damage is done, now I need to look upon how to repair things and get back on air over Spreaker, as well as conducting myself in a manner to eventually lead the Knytes. This is not going to be easy, nor rapid. As for a short time, HazzardAyre will be on livestream.com/hazzardayre solo. With all that and in hopes that Spreaker account can be recovered in a few weeks or a month is one thing, before that happens broadcasting facilities will need to be found to house the radio werx. Plus relocating everything, and this is no small task.
There are many including quite a few members of the Knytes and WolfPack that have said get rid of her as she is just dragging you down. Shit you moved to where I am, here just to pave a path for her to get the brain problems fixed so she and I could have a good marriage. My former and maybe sooner Bishop in Evanston Wyoming asked me if I was making the right decision in relocating from there here to Swendell. In reflection, I can’t say it was. Considering the absolute hell its been for the last year. I keep trying to find that silver lining in the stormy clouds. I thought that the recent thunder storms we had here in Our Hazzard County was a voice from on high saying , “Don’t move stay put” While I have great trust in God’s voice, I ain’t exactly thinking it was God, might be Satan. Early April and early May I had the chance to get back to Evanston, but I came back here, mostly cause my cell charger was here and I missed my bed. The beds at the Motel 6 there in Etown leave a lot to be desired. Thing is I went through a month of hellfire and it looks like that’s going to be repeated this month, because of this hiccup of funds from Shelly. When I get to the point of tucking my tail and asking for money from a lady who barely has enough to help her family, for toilet paper and Goody’s Powders twice in the same month, bottom line this is not the best course of direction to a path to fly by. Thus I need to make a few course corrections, and aim to Evanston, come July 1st. Will a marriage between Shelly and I really happen? It depends on her fixing the hiccup that caused this mess this month. If not I need to be where I can fund myself . This road and flight path is going to be more than rough. Hope Kathleen and all can help convince our Bishop Egbert here to pay rent for yet another month.