Today after falling off a scaffold doing routine repair on one of our rotor craft, and coming home, taking pain killers like they were going out of style, at 15:00 hours I hit the rack. Figured I’d catch a few zz’s and wake up and go fetch some groceries. First PoohBear calls, didn’t really want to talk. then Marci texts, took care of that then saw a that it was getting a bit chill. So got up, turned up what mere heat I have and settled back in after setting up another diagnostic on mini compuuter. Seems that the 3 bears and I have one thing in common. This old Wolf either gets a place where it stays real cold, get’s too hot, but seldom is it just right. So saw my brother in arms Rick who takes care of LexiBelle, thought I had betrayed him, and all. Thing is since PoohBear screwed the pooch in October, I have been in a fight just to survive. Heck if you really want to get down to it, PoohBear screwed the same pooch in June. When she thought I was going to move in with one of my female associates in Boise. If I had it would have only been a short stay, just long enough to find my own Wolf’s Den, up there. Had she not messed with her dues money,to me in June, I would have been able to pay June’s rent on the place in Wendell, stayed put, not had to move to Jerome, and not went through a living hell there. Then came October, which snowballed, to where I’m here in this cock roach pit in Twin Falls. I think PoohBear does that subconsciously in the thought as long as she controls the purse strings, she controls me. There’s a self confidence poor self esteem, problem there that has been there since we met. While I love the woman very much, and want to make a life with her, there’s as I told her then, in ETown, there’s two things under God that I hold revere rant LexiBelle, and the Club. They come first. But when Rick said he had problems money wise in the latter part of November during a time that I was looking for housing since I’d been evicted.Just before I exited Jerome and Christmas, I took a $100.00 out of my own needed funds, and did a money order, from Simerly’s in Wendell, and sent it to Rick. I figured it’d get there on or shortly after Christmas so he amongst other things could keep warm as well as go see his daughter in Utah. Some how that never arrived. So I have to go dig out the damn receipt and back track that money order. Yipee. As far advanced in many ways the Tragic Valley, is back pedaling at warp speed. Heck I could have sent that money order on the pack of a mule and it would have gotten there by now. And too, I thought Rick would have been out here by now to fetch his engine for Dark Horse. Of course there was that gal from Africa, the club , not me(thankfully) but the club was spending mucho money to get her evacked out of that war torn nation. Thing is she was to have sent $300.00 to me the first week in December, that didn’t happen. Then send PoohBear $60.00 or so for a cell phone so she could call here, that never happened. Rick is the only one cept maybe Big John, that I ever will put money out for. To heck with this generosity stuff. I put out money, never get it back and its me in front of my Bishop, of our church asking for cash. Bullstuff. Rick is a brother in arms to me, as much as anyone in the MC.Even more so, I will not do anything to betray Rick, any more than I would any member of the MC. That’s why the one thing I hold precious on earth my beloved LexiBelle is in his care. That said, again I love PoohBear very deeply, however, she has been the one common denominator to my money problems here of late, not that I didn’t have these problems before she came to be with me. However, The problems intensified, when she stepped off that bus. If and I mean it, if she misses just one more dues payment, a full payment, as much as its going to hurt, she’s going to be a xyl, not my PoohBear. Because of her, I have to figure out how to get $1,700.00 to get my radio gear out of storage, and get that back in gear, since the loss of that $12,000.00 a month is hurting.